It has happened. All of a sudden my three-and-a-half-year-old son developed a sense of humour and a little bit rude one, too. Don’t get me wrong, I love it and his jokes are brilliant but… They’re also embarrassing in public. So, I decided to do something about it.
First, I’d like to give you some examples of his jokes so that you have an idea about what I have to deal with.
I’m sure you know Postman Pat theme song. It’s Simon’s favourite and I like it too. Well, remember the bit where Ken Barry sings “Everybody knows his bright red van”? Here’s Simon’s version:
Everybody knows his bright red bum.
All his friends will smile as he waves to greet them.– Simon, age 3
Hilarious, isn’t it? And how about his version of “If You’re Happy and You Know It”? No, it’s not about clapping hands or stomping feet.
If you happy and you know it, go and poop.
If you’re happy and you know it, go and poop.
If you’re happy and you know it and you really want to show it,
If you’re happy and you know it, go and poop.– Simon, age 3
Funny but not quite suitable for other children to follow the advice.
But the most embarrassing thing happened when we went to visit friends the other day. Their 80-year-old mum was visiting too, a lovely old lady. Simon was playing with his friend Erik and Erik decided to show him a souvenir ocarina that looked like a seal. Well, an ocarina is a flute-like musical instrument made of clay, which means it has a mouthpiece and holes. Guess where the mouthpiece was. Aha, you guessed it right. Simon examined the seal and saw the mouthpiece and the big airhole next to it. “Look, mummy,” he said, “that’s its bum and that’s poop! Big poop is coming out!” He was cracking with laughter and I was so embarrassed that my cheeks were burning. Everybody pretended nothing happened but I bet they had a lot go through their heads.
What I Did to Tame Simon’s Sense of Humour
At first, I tried everything – talking to him, being strict, telling him off. Nothing worked. The more I reacted to his jokes, the more jokes he made. The stricter I was, the ruder the jokes were. In the end, I got so sick and tired of them that I stopped reacting. And lo and behold – the rude jokes subsided. He still makes them every now and then but never in public and they always are very funny.
So the bottom line is to stop freaking out and let your child have his fun. The more fuss you make, the more your child will tease you and try to attract your attention by doing what you think is wrong. So, just have fun and have a good laugh every now and then – every mum deserves it!